Relationship Patterns

Schema Focused Relationship Advice

A couple cuddling

The ACT Counselling Services team have had 2 insightful weeks delivering inputs 6 and 7 of the ‘Practising Schema Focused Therapy’ course. The themes have all been about perpetuation and ‘Repetition Compulsion’ (Freud, S), or ‘Schema Chemistry’ (Young, J). We think it is absolutely incredible that we, as human beings continue, albeit unconsciously, continue to play out very specific childhood experiences over and over again. This perpetuation causes us significant problems and distress, but we keep on doing it. The hardest part to come to terms with is that is actually our attempts to cope that continue to cause the problems. This often leads people to approach ACT for relationship advice.

What went wrong…?

Couple back to back with arms folded and in a huff with each other

We pick our parents as partners. If you don’t believe this, then you are most likely in denial. No parents are perfect and we unconsciously choose partners who we hope will provide us with the opportunity of correcting what went wrong. As a result of parental deficiencies we, at some point, experienced anger, sadness or despair as a result of our unmet needs. Children, however, cannot tolerate these feelings and instead cling to hope. We perceive that the problem actually lies with ourselves and continue, throughout our lives to seek the corrective experience.

Want to find out more or get some relationship advice, get in touch to discuss signing up for the next course, beginning 04/05/16. See more information here in our Services section.

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